Dear Dr.Reece,
I've been split up with my ex of 3 years for 3 months now. When does someone get ready to date again?
Withheld
Dear Withheld,
It's a hard call isn't it? When to risk the heart again? There is no right answer. You have to grieve the relationship including all of the what-might-have-beens you had built up. You also need to come to the reality that, although they seemed one in a million, they really weren't all that
.
But, here is one thing you might think about. Are you just missing intimacy? Are you just missing friendship? One of the things we often do in our relationships is to isolate ourselves from other people we regularly see in favor of focusing on the special one we have in our lives. This means we receive less intimacy from our friends and family because we limit the time we can spend with friends and families.
You may want to consider making some new friends and reconnecting with old ones. Give the family a call and enjoy their unconditional love (if they have it to give). Find a good social group and join in. You may find getting some of your needs met by friends and family will help you strike a better balance when you do decide to date again.
Take good care of yourself. Be nice to yourself. You are worth being loved and cared about. If he or she didn't see that, well, then, that's their loss.
Hugs,
Dr. Reece
If you find you have an area in you life you need to speak to someone about. Dr. Reece W. Manley, DD, M.Ed., MPM is America's Leading online professional pastoral counselor and can be found at http://www.gaylifecoach.info
Monday, March 8, 2010
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