I'm trying to help my boyfriend develop some self esteem. He's just entered recovery and feels horrible about himself even when I tell him he's wonderful. Any ideas?
Dumpy in Detroit
Dear Dumpy:
You are very admirable for wanting to help your partner who is recovery. It will take a while, but he'll eventually feel better. You might help him do affirmations. They sound kooky, I know. But affirmation (for reasons that are scientific but take a while to explain so I won't bother) do work. They just need to have these components.
Working affirmations must include:
A specific positive statement. "I am worth a raise v. I am a good person." Both are true, however, only one addresses the specific issue.
It must be in front of a mirror, looking at yourself in the eye.
Must be said at least ten times to be effective.
Say it in a calm, serious manner.
If you catch a stray thought saying "Thiu is stupid" or "no one believes in me" then address the thought with "That is wrong" and then go back to the affirmation.
I hope this helps, you can find a diagram of affirmations at work below and visit us at www.gaylifecoach.info,
Dr. Reece Manley
Ask Dr. Reece is a service of Reece Manley, DD, M.Ed., MPM. It is not intended to diagnose or treat a specific mental health issue. Please seek qualified help or call 911 for emergencies.
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