Who Let the Dogs Out

Dear Dr. Reece,
I've got a problem.  Actually two of them.  Opus and Redman.  They are my new lover's dogs and I am allergic to the canines.  I can't spend the night without suffering from allergies and it hurts his feelings.  I don't want to let him go, but I don't know what to do about the dogs.
Frustrated with Fido
(okay, folks, I couldn't make that up!)


Dear Frustrated,
I hear ya on the allergies - mine is cats!  But being a dog lover, I've got a lot of sympathy for your new lover.
Often, in the GLBT community and in the other people community, too, strong attachments form to our animals.  If you don't watch out, you may offend your new BF with how you handled it.  These are, after all, his kids.


The first thing to do is to have an honest direct talk with your new BF.  If you know him well enough to spend the night you know him well enough to talk.  Make certain you convey you don't hate the dogs, you hate the allergies.  Then the two of you can "brainstorm" some ideas on how to handle it.  For example, you may need to buy allergy medicine or move the over nights to your place. 


The important thing is to remember the dogs were there before you.  And, unless you're careful, they'll be there after you've gone sneezing into the sunset.


Good luck,
Reece