Ask Dr. Reece - Matters of Faith

Dear Dr. Reece,
I'm Catholic and gay.  My partner does not believe in anything right now and it bothers me when he makes fun of me for going to mass.  Any tips or comebacks to his prods and pokes?
R U Wright

Dear R U Wright (clever):


Matters of faith play close to the heart.  In a recent TRI survey of gay men and lesbian women, 91 percent reported the symptoms that represent Spiritual Abuse.  If you haven't heard of the concept of spiritual abuse, I just happen to have the right book for you.


Now, specifically to your problem.  No matter how many people support us, or don't support us, our Spirituality refers specifically to our relationship to our Creator.  I happen to believe that relationship is inherent to being a human being.  We are connected to that from which we came and which we go back to.  Organized religion very often exploits Spirituality for its own gain.  Old white men have been telling us what God does and does not think since ancient times.  However, God does not have to play by man's rules.  In other words, no one can separate you from God.  Nor, can they put conditions on the fact that God loves you.


If your current partner is making fun of you personal rituals here are some things you might say:

• I'm not going to church for you but for me.  I need the experience to have a good week.
• Why are you angry?  S/He's your God, too?
• I feel hurt when you make fun of me trying to find my Spiritual path.
• So, it's not important to you, it's important to me.
• It's fine for me to be interested in something you aren't.
• I'm doing this for me, not for you and not for us.
• Come with me and see what you think.
• Shut up and do the dishes while I'm gone!

You need to acknowledge that, again, your Spirituality is between you and your Creator.  How you explore that Spirituality is up to you.  It's not going away.  And, it might open doors.


Blessings,
Reece

Dr. Reece Manley is America's leading online pastoral counselor.  His clients range from the indigent to U.S. Senators.  He works with spiritual recovery, pastoral counseling and, his fave, glbt lifecoaching.  He can be found at http://www.talk1.net.