I need romance, damn it. I tried to set up a perfect dinner, candles - the whole bit. Then, I'm ignored. What is the point? Is romance pointless and dead in gay relationships?
Ignored Damsel
Dear Ignored Damsel:
Ah, romance, sweet music to our ears! Isn't it? Don't most of us want romance? In a TRI poll, "I wish my partner were more romantic" was chosen by 73% of respondents. So, you aren't alone. You're in good company.
Romance usually fails because, well, it takes two. And, two takes coordination. What might be your perfect day may not be your other's perfect date. Try these simple ideas:
- Schedule a date. Make sure both are available.
- Show romance first. Send some flowers or pack a note in his briefcase.
- Be patient and introduce small steps toward romance.
- Have an "off hour" where no talk about anything but how wonderful each of you are is allowed. Try once a month and move toward one a week.
- Describe your ideas of romance to your partner. If it's not 100% compatible, then accept that and move toward common ground.
You'll find romance because almost all of us like to be "woo-ed", but you're partner probably isn't psychic. Give them a little information and THEN let it be a surprise.
Let us know hows it goes!
Good luck,
Dr. Reece
Dr. Reece Manley, DD, M.Ed., MPM, is America's leading provider of online GLBT pastoral counseling and personal coaching. he can be found at http://www.gaylifecoach.info where he features a $15 dollar counseling exchange The only one of it's kind in the world!
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